043: Tragedy to Triumph with Tina Mitchell

043: Tragedy to Triumph with Tina Mitchell

When Tina Mitchell was 5 years old, she often played violin at the local market with her younger sister to help her parents keep the roof over their head. And when her father would come home drunk, her mother would take them down to the train station for the night and pretend to go on a trip with them to escape from the trauma at home. 

From her father’s issues with addiction, to his suicide attempt when she was 12 years old, and then dealing with her own addiction issues and the death of her daughter, Tina has triumphed despite the many tragedies she has faced in her life. 

Now, Tina is the founder and owner of TM Media Agency, a dynamic keynote speaker, and the author of Journey With Me. With over 25 years of experience, she’s been recognized as one of the top 1% of mortgage specialists in America, a Washington Realtors Partner of the Year, and a Women’s Council of Realtors Member of the Year. She is highly committed to education and has designed and owns the Mortgage Triangle Software, a tool available to mortgage professionals throughout the country. And if that wasn’t enough, she’s also the host of the Money Hour on AM 1150, KKNW. 

In today’s conversation, Tina talks about the tragedies that life throws us and what it means to share the story of triumph on the other side, how women can support one another without making comparisons or falling into competition, and how our failures can lead to extraordinary opportunities.  

Overcomer Playlist Recommendation

Tina Mitchell – Dream  

Pearls of Wisdom

  • Life is like a road trip. Even with a map, you can take a wrong turn, and the road you choose will determine your life direction and experiences.
  • We’re all on a journey of discovery to find out who we are and what we will contribute to this world.
  • Embrace your tragedies and fight for your life. Embrace every second of your day and embrace your failures.
  • Be excited for your next failure because it’s leading you to your biggest success.

Tweetables

“The hard road will not be the hard road for long once you create a habit in taking the hard road, which is being willing to change.” - Tina Mitchell Click To Tweet “The pendulum swings just as far one direction as the other. So, if it's not swinging very far, you're not going to get the great things on the other side. You'll get little things on the other side.” - @LIFEwithArwen Click To Tweet “Wake up every morning alert to all the surprises waiting just for you. When you watch for them, they show up everywhere. And what an amazing day it will be.” - Tina Mitchell Click To Tweet “Every tragedy will lead you to triumph if you create the space for yourself to see the triumph that's waiting on the other side. Triumph will bring you the strength to get through your next tragedy because guaranteed, your next… Click To Tweet “I'm going to be an inspiration today. I'm going to be a little bit better today than I was yesterday. I'm going to make a difference in the world one day at a time. And I'm going to level up.” - Tina Mitchell Click To Tweet

 

Resources

Rate & Review

If you enjoyed today’s episode of She Handled It, hit the subscribe button in Apple Podcasts, (or wherever you listen) so future episodes are automatically downloaded directly to your device. 

You can also help by providing an honest rating & review over on Apple Podcasts. Reviews go a long way in helping us build awareness so that we can impact even more people. THANK YOU! 

Connect with Arwen Becker

Transcript 

[INTRODUCTION]

 

Arwen Becker: You know, I was thinking about this time right before seventh grade. So, seventh grade for me was the start of junior high, right? And both my sister and I, Mindy, she and I have summer birthdays. And so, that summer as I was leaving sixth grade, going into seventh grade, our parents got for us a visit to a local salon and what was going to happen at the salon was we were going to get our hair and makeup done and then go out with our parents. So, at this point, I don't even think I was really even allowed to wear makeup. So, I was finally kind of getting that little foray into wearing makeup for junior high.

 

So, we went to the salon, and this woman worked magic because I have naturally curly hair. I was totally curly sometimes. Right now, I have it totally straight, but I didn't know what the heck to do with this hair. And it was in the ‘80s. So, for any of you who lived through the ‘80s, okay, let's go back there a little bit. I had kind of like a glorified mullet. This was what I got, and it was starting to grow out. So, the hair that was short on the side for much of elementary school was starting to get longer, but it was maybe only like halfway to the length of my long hair. So, I had no idea what to do with this.

 

So, this woman just works magic. And she made it all curly. It looked amazing. I had great makeup. I still look at the pictures and I must have been just a couple of days over the age of 12. And I still look at them. And I'm shocked because I look 18, it was crazy. And so, she did amazing. So, what I got this really great idea about, because I felt so good about myself, was the morning of my seventh-grade photos, was to ask my mom to replicate what this professional woman at the salon had done. It didn't go well, to put it bluntly. I looked like a sweaty rocker who had just got off of stage because I had way too much product in my hair. It was a disaster.

 

And yet, there were two things that I really learned throughout that process. One, you don't replicate what a professional does the morning of school photos. That's not a good idea. But the second thing that I learned through this tragic hair event of sorts is that you have to be able to– is I learned how to just properly manage this curly hair of mine that I had resisted for so long, even though I now have this picture memorialized for the rest of my life of those 13 years of photographs. This is by far the worst photo, but I learned that I could figure out how to work with this hair of mine. And it really took this little minor tragedy and it turned it into a triumph.

 

And today's guest knows all too well what tragedy and triumph look like, but in a much deeper way. Tina Mitchell has been in the mortgage industry for more than 25 years and has been recognized in the top 1% nationwide. She's highly committed to education and has designed and owns the Mortgage Triangle Software, which is available to mortgage professionals throughout the country. She's been awarded Partner of the Year from Washington Realtors and Member of the Year from Women's Council of Realtors, just to name a couple. Tina is radio personality and host of the Money Hour on AM 1150 KKNW. She's the founder and owner of TM Media Agency. She's a dynamic keynote speaker. She's the coach on One-Time Your Business and the author of Journey With Me.

 

Tina Mitchell has faced her fair share of tragedies through the journeys of her life. However, through these tragedies, she was able to triumph. That's my kind of gal, I'm telling you. Tina believes that life throws you tragedies so you can share your story of triumph on the other side.

 

[INTERVIEW]

 

Arwen Becker: Welcome, Tina Mitchell. I'm so happy to have you on the show today.

 

Tina Mitchell: Thank you so much for the invite. Very excited to be here and to share with your listeners this morning.

 

Arwen Becker: Well, me too. I'm certainly looking forward to hearing this story. Very, very deep story. I know we've got a lot to cover, but before we jump in, why don't you tell us the song that you brought to add to our overcomer playlist?

 

Tina Mitchell: Well, when you asked what my favorite song was, I have to say my song because if you ever wrote a song, mine started out as an actual poem when I have these words that felt like it meant something. So, I pulled over on the side of the road and I started writing in my little black book, and then I started crying and I was getting tears of joy and the goosebumps and all of those amazing things that happen when you embrace something in the beginning that seems like it might be a little special.

 

And then, a year later, when I did my first community work with women in transitional housing, I thought, my gosh, I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to see these women again. And we had such a powerful three hours together. And I wish that I had something that I could leave with them. And as soon as I opened my door, I realized that Dream was not meant to be a poem. It was meant to be a song. And so, I immediately went into the studio and hired the people I needed to hire, including the singer, because you wouldn't want to hear me sing it.

 

Arwen Becker: Are you sure?

 

Tina Mitchell: No, definitely not. And Dream was produced. And many magical things have come from my song for me.

 

Arwen Becker: Have you ever written songs? I mean, prior to that.

 

Tina Mitchell: I haven't and I'm not even a poem writer. So, it's funny because when I came home that night after I pulled over on the side of the road and all these words were coming to me, I will not miss a moment. I listen, watch and feel my days filled with miracles. My dream is real. I sing, dance, and play. All of these words were just pouring. And I'm getting goosebumps right now, just going back through it. All of these words were just coming out and I was writing them down as quickly as I could. And again, tears of joy and the goosebumps and all of those things that you feel in your body when your body is telling you something is really special here.

 

And I went home and I called my best friend, Stephanie, and I said, I think I just wrote a poem and I want to read it to you. So, I read it to her. I was crying, she was crying. And we talked years later and we couldn't figure out, was she crying because it was such a beautiful poem, or was she crying because I was crying? Who knows? Yeah, and then it just sat there for a year. So, no, I don't write poems and I don't write songs, but I do now.

 

Arwen Becker: Have you done any other songs after that?

 

Tina Mitchell: I have not. This was one of those special moments. And it was meant to take me on the journey of contribution to my community. And so, it was meant for one reason, it was meant for those women, and then it was meant for my journey and coming from a place of contribution and many things that happened after I wrote that song.

 

Arwen Becker: And so, how have you utilized the song since you recorded it?

 

Tina Mitchell: Well, I play it for everything when I have live events and it's in my email signature. And so, it's a part of everything. My personal motto is Live Your Dream Now. And that came from, my song, and my personal motto leads me to everything in my life and decisions that I make and embracing every second of my day. So, I use it in everything and I share it with people everywhere I can, that’s appropriate place to share it.

 

Arwen Becker: Wow, that's courageous. I have to hand it to you to not be a songwriter, not be a poet, not have any of that background, and then you have the courage to go out and find people and create a song and put it out there and utilize it. That's a really big deal.

 

Tina Mitchell: Yeah. Thanks.

 

Arwen Becker: That's awesome. That's the scary part of writing a book, when you put your words out there for other people to read and interpret and critique and all of those pieces that come along with it.

 

Tina Mitchell: Well, the book was the same journey. And it came from, I wanted to really just share my story after that first experience that I had with those women at The House of Hope. I wanted to put my story in writing and I literally read it. I literally wrote my book in three weekends. I didn't sleep for three weekends straight. It took 10 months to publish because I was going back and reading it.

 

Arwen Becker: Of course.

 

Tina Mitchell: But yeah, it's those spurs of the moment when you feel that again, your body is like a navigation system. It's your intuition and it tells you exactly where you need to go. Once you have that realization and you follow those moments. And again, it's the goosebumps, it's that warm and fuzzy feeling that you get. And when you embrace that, the tears come. And so, your body tells you when something is special, you just need to take a break in that moment and embrace it in that moment, because if you don't, it passes and nothing comes out of it.

 

Arwen Becker: Very good. Very true. It's totally good. So, I know you have a powerful story to walk us through that has been filled with a lot of different heartbreak and tragedies. So, why don't you take us back to the heart of that struggle?

 

Tina Mitchell: Yeah, so I've had my fair share of tragedies growing up from playing my violin at Pike Place Market with my little sister to help our parents keep a roof over her head, my dad's addictions and his attempted suicide when I was 12 years old, my own struggles with addictions and drugs. And I spent time in a mental health facility for teens with behavioral health issues. My first husband, my high school sweetheart, Mike, was in prison for five years for armed robbery, the death of our daughter Amber, but through these tragedies, I was able to triumph and you said this in the beginning, that I believe life is this tragedy so we can share a story of triumph on the other side, but you must fight through those tragedies to make it to the other side.

 

And life is like a road trip. When you travel, use a map to get from one destination to another, but even with a map, you can take a wrong turn. But along the way, there are signs, signs with life lessons, and the road you choose will determine your life direction and your life experiences. So, I believe that each of us are here on a journey, and that journey is a journey of discovery, a discovery of who we are and what we will contribute to this world.

 

Arwen Becker: And you said, you and your sister were how old when you were playing at Pike Place?

 

Tina Mitchell: Well, jeez, probably before I can remember, my memories really start when I was around five years old. So, we played our violin there for years. And, yeah, I'll share a little bit later how that was a real defining moment for me.

 

Arwen Becker: Wow, that's remarkable. I, first of all, don't know how to play an instrument. So, for you doing that at five and out on the street to be able to raise money for your family is really remarkable, and I'm looking forward to hearing that. I know that as you and I were talking in advance, that really, a lot of your story you kind of like to share throughout the lessons in which you learned through that. So, why don't you go ahead and take us through? I mean, what were those three things that throughout all of these tragedies and overcoming them, you really have been able to take away from it?

 

Tina Mitchell: Yeah, I would say my three takeaways are first, embrace your tragedies. Second is fight for your life. And when you embrace your tragedies, it will give you that fighting spirit, that warrior spirit to fight for your life. And last is to live the life that you're meant to live. And again, that's where my personal motto takes me is live your dream now. It's not about reaching for an extraordinary life. It's about embracing every second of your day. And through that process, you will live an extraordinary life because your ordinary moments will become extraordinary moments. And then, these moments will become your defining moments.

 

So, I'd love to share with your listeners today a defining exercise that brought me to my key takeaways. And I believe, and this is what I hope that your takeaway for listening today is to connect your dots. And I was inspired by Steve Jobs’ commencement speech with Stanford when he shared connecting his thoughts. And immediately, here's another one of those defining moments. I was in a place that I was so inspired by him connecting his thoughts, I thought, my gosh, I need to connect my dots. And before this moment, this was in the financial meltdown time frame that I'd done this. And before this, I had no idea how my life experiences had brought me to where I was at today, good and bad.

 

So, I'd love to take you through my exercise of connecting my dots. And I’ll kind of break down my story a little bit. So, please remember, if you're listening today, no matter where you're at right now today, is success. Every tragedy will lead you to triumph if you create the space for yourself to see the triumph that's waiting on the other side. Triumph will bring you the strength to get through your next tragedy because guaranteed, your next tragedy will visit you someday when you have the tools, which I believe connecting your dots. And it's an exercise that I do every night before I go to bed. You're able to see those tragedies and where they're leading you to triumph. You may not know, you may think what triumph is. It may turn out completely different, but your journey in life is not trying to figure it out. It's just embracing the process and going with a curiosity spirit to wonder what you think is going to come out of this, whether that's what's going to come out of it or not.

 

So, for me, it all started when I started connecting my dots. It started from the train station from my earliest memory, which was about when I was five years old. My mom used to take my little sister and me to the train station. This was her place to escape her reality and to dream. For me, it was the time and place where I learned the value of visualization. And this time and place is what I credit all of the success that I've had in my life personally and professionally, learning the power of visualization. From age seven years old, from two years that I can remember, and my visualization when I was at the train station, I visualized being a top Girl Scout cookie, being the top Girl Scout cookie seller in federal way every year, which I was, winning many awards as a young violinist and all the success that I had for that. And the success that I've had now today all comes from the ability to visualize. Now my next was from the train station.

 

Arwen Becker: Can I interject?

 

Tina Mitchell: Yeah, absolutely.

 

Arwen Becker: I’m curious about the train station. So, you said that that was where your mom went also to dream. So, what was it there that was the positive component?

 

Tina Mitchell: Thank you for asking that question, because I know our limit on time is I leave some things out, but my mom was there and she was just there because she loves trains so much. And so, she would talk about where the train was going to come, pick us up and take us to the most amazing places which we knew we were going to never go because we never did. It was the same story, but it was a different story because we were going somewhere different. So, we were literally there at midnight just waiting for a train that wasn't coming. And she would talk about the inside of the train and how beautiful it was and all of these different components in the train.

 

I was listening to her story and where we were going, but at the same time, I was visualizing what I wanted for myself in these moments and for me, I wanted to be successful. And so, I was visualizing being on the train and where that was going to take me as an adult. And as I got older and I started selling Girl Scout cookies when we were there, I would visualize being the top Girl Scout cookie seller. And so, I was in her story, but I was visualizing my own story, which was completely different than what hers was.

 

Arwen Becker: Yeah. What was it that was going on in her life that would never allow her to…

 

Tina Mitchell: My dad, my dad's addictions and having no money and all of the trauma that was happening for her. Now, it wasn't a trauma for me because I didn't know that my dad had a problem because my mom kept it to herself. So, she would take us out of the house when he'd come home drunk and we'd go spend the night at the train station. She'd have us grab our favorite stuffed animal and our blanket. We would take a trip. And my dad, unlike a lot of alcoholics, he wasn't mean. He was fun. And I was his favorite daughter. And my sister was a little intimidated by him because he was kind of crazy, but I'm crazy, too. So, it was me and my dad. And so, yeah, I had no idea until, and I'll share later when my dad tried taking his life, that was the time that I realized and my mom had shared that my dad had a big problem.

 

Arwen Becker: So, it was an escape mechanism for your mom to be able to go imagine a life different than what she was living and to be able to get you both out of the house, but for you…

 

Tina Mitchell: To make a safe place for us.

 

Arwen Becker: Safe place, but for you, because you didn't know that you were fleeing something that wasn't good for you, you were seeing it from the possibility of what could be, that we weren't escaping something, it's like this could be my future. I really want to actually see the other side of that train and where it's going in the destination. Got it.

 

Tina Mitchell: Exactly, you got it.

 

Arwen Becker: Thank you. Go ahead.

 

Tina Mitchell: Of course. And then, my next connecting my dots was my experience at Pike Place Market, playing my violin as a street performer with my little sister to help our parents keep a roof over our head. This experience for me was traumatic. I was embarrassed, I was ashamed. She dressed up in bicentennial outfits, and I would take my bonnet and pull it over my face and hoped that when my classmates made it to the market, they wouldn't recognize me. However, this experience and my connecting the dots is what drove me from a very young age to want to make money when I grew up, in fear of not having any, like my mom and dad.

 

Arwen Becker: I've lived through that, too, so I know that all too well. I just thought I would marry mine at 15. So, I figured I'd just make a man my financial plan. That didn't work out very well. Found myself divorced at 24, but, hey, you know, we live and learn, but kind of the same thing. I know what it's like to grow up in luck and lose our home and have my mom hand making clothes and my other friends didn't have handmade clothes. And just that feeling, and it was just like, I will do anything to not feel this way, but yet, I didn't have some of the skills. I think that you were maybe at least alluding to and recognizing. I just was like, I need to find somebody financially successful because I didn't feel I could be that person that could bear that weight and be the responsible person for myself. So, I figured somebody else would.

 

Tina Mitchell: And isn't that so interesting because I believe it was the visualization? And my mom and dad always said I could do anything I wanted to, but I had the tool, which was visualization, because I never visualized anyone else in my life. I visualized me and my success and I was going to be somebody really important. And at that young age, it was driven by money. I was going to make a lot of money. Now, as we get older, we realize it's not about money, but you know, so, yeah.

 

Arwen Becker: But money still gives us opportunities…

 

Tina Mitchell: The tool.

 

Arwen Becker: …to do the things that we want to do to be able to help people, I mean, your life of giving and being able to serve in communities of women that are trying to flee bad circumstances and things of that nature. It still takes resources in order to do that. Resources in the form of money or time.

 

Tina Mitchell: Yes.

 

Arwen Becker: And so, those things, they serve a great purpose, but it can't be the only purpose that you're fighting for because, of course, money is not positive or negative, it's neutral. It's how it's used.

 

Tina Mitchell: Yes, absolutely.

 

Arwen Becker: Yeah. Okay, so you were in Pike Place Market, you're realizing that was something you absolutely did not like and the way that it made you feel and you were not going to have this money struggle that your parents were having. So, where did it go from there?

 

Tina Mitchell: And then my next connecting my dots is when my dad committed suicide, tried to take his life, when most would consider our family dynamic challenging, I was able to succeed at a very high level from the age of seven to 12 because I learned to visualize and it showed me what was possible for myself. Visualization built my confidence and built my willingness to do the hard work to make my dreams come true. However, being Daddy's little girl and loving him so much when he tried taking his life, everything changed for me. This was when in my life journey, I made a really bad turn, not a wrong turn. It was a tragic turn, however, led me to where I'm at today.

 

My life went down really quickly. It literally happened overnight. I was lost. I lost hope. I abandoned all of my old friends and started hanging out with a really bad crowd. I started drinking at 12. By 13, I was doing every drug I could get my hand on. I shared earlier, I spent time in a mental health facility for teens with behavioral health issues. By the age of 15, our story kind of sounds similar in spaces. I started dating my first husband, Mike, who was at the time was 20 years old. Then I got pregnant and graduated from high school, pregnant with our daughter when I was 18 years old. And that was the connecting the dots when hope came back into my life and I felt as if I had started a new journey in life and magical things would be coming my way.

 

However, we lost Amber to SIDS when she was four months old. Six months after that, my husband was arrested for an armed robbery that he had committed two years before I was pregnant and he was sentenced to 10 years in prison. He ended up serving five. But my biggest connecting that dot was the day that I went to the cemetery, it was the day before the police came to our house to arrest Mike. And I was sitting there with my daughter Amber. And my intent that day was to say goodbye, because I was going to take my own life. And as I was sitting there with Amber, I noticed a new headstone that wasn't there the day before that I was at the cemetery.

 

And it was two brothers. They had died a day apart from each other. Kevin was two years old and Michael, he was four years old. And in that moment, I changed my shift, not consciously, but subconsciously. I started thinking about their mother and the pain that she must have been going through. And I started comparing that pain with my pain. I'd had Amber for four months when I lost her. She had had Kevin for two years and Michael for four. I'd lost one child, and she had lost two children. And then, in that moment, consciously, I thought back to that day when he tried taking his life, my dad tried taking his life. And I remembered how overnight, I completely changed into a completely different person. And I realized it was because of the choice that I had made, the choice not to fight for my life. And in that moment, I had made the decision. I'm just going to try and I'm going to try to see what would happen, what would happen if I tried fighting for my life, the life that I have left with my husband, Mike, which I loved very much. And he was the only part of Amber I had left.

 

So, I put all of my focus on our relationship and what life would be like when Mike was released from prison. Now, when Mike came home, things didn't work out. A whole nother tragedy story that didn't end in triumph for so many reasons, but at the end of my marriage, when I had to divorce my husband, he later died of a drug overdose, and this moment was another connecting the dots. I realized that I was only in control of my life, my life, no one else's life, because my dream for Mike and my marriage with him and the children that we were going to have and the beautiful life we were going to have, that's what drove me. And that's when all my success happened professionally, my career, because I had bought my first home when I was 20 years old, when my husband was in prison, but when our marriage didn't last and he died of a drug overdose, I realized that I needed to focus on my own life. And so, that was the first time and that was the connecting the dots when I realized, and ever since I always focus on being the best that I can for myself, because through that process that I can create my best self to where I can be of support for other people, that I can't have my life depending on anyone else.

 

Arwen Becker: And you living that best life also then gives permission to the people around you to do the same for themselves.

 

Tina Mitchell: It does, but not everyone is going to take that permission. And you can't be in control of that, right?

 

Arwen Becker: Right. We can either live in a state of being a victim or being victorious. I mean, we all face those situations and we all face tragedies. I mean, I haven't faced all the same tragedies that you have. There are some parallels in there. I know what it's like to grow up in an alcoholic home. I know what it's like to have that stuff shielded from us, my sister and I, in dealing with that, but how we react to it and how we think about ourselves or how we think about how we can get past this, that this is not the defining moment in my life that I'm now going to always be the woman whose husband died of an overdose, the woman who lost her child when they're four months old, or the woman who X, Y, Z fill in the gaps.

 

We can be I'm a woman who overcame. I am somebody who is victorious. I am a woman who has been through some stuff. And I've come out on the other side and I know that you can do it, too. And I know that that's what you spend your time doing, being able to challenge women to think differently and to believe that they can take that tragedy and utilize it in a positive way to be able to bring hope and peace and great life for people on the other side of it.

 

Tina Mitchell: Yeah, so true. And then, the last connecting my dots that I'll share with you today is what made me the person that I am today personally as a woman and what's most important to me in life. And it was the financial meltdown. This was the biggest professional tragedy that I ever had. And it's what brought me to personal growth and the intention to be a better person in hopes that I wouldn't be so attached to money and success, because until this day, my money and success did very well for me. And when that was taken away in a short period of time, I thought, I need to find something that's not attached to money. And it started my personal growth journey.

 

And because of the time that I spent working on myself many years later, I would start sharing it with other women and organizations. As I shared with you in the beginning, I wrote my book Journey With Me. I created my Live Your Dream Now Retreat, which is all on personal growth, the exercise that I created for myself, why I created it, what space I was in, and then the outcome on the other side, and how to level up the exercise to really be able to implement connecting your dots as one of those exercises I share in my retreat. I became a keynote speaker, sharing my story of tragedy to triumph, whereas before this, nobody knew my life story because I was embarrassed and I thought if any of my business partners knew that I did drugs, I was married to a husband that did an armed robbery, all of this stuff that happened, they would no longer want to support my business. And surely, how could I build new relationships if they knew my story? And so, everything turned around that now I'm literally an open book and I lead with who I am instead of covering it and trying to be somebody that I'm not.

 

Arwen Becker: What a freeing place to be.

 

Tina Mitchell: Oh, my gosh.

 

Arwen Becker: Shame absolutely tells you there's something wrong with you. If you share that, people are not going to like you, and that grace that comes in and says, no, people are going to love you in spite of those things. They love you because you came through it and you went through that. And that's where you draw people, and some people, they're dealing with their own baggage and so, that shines light into places that they're not willing to go. And so, when you do start sharing your personal story, as you discovered, I discovered as well, there are people who that's too much for them. And it is hard.

 

You do have friendships that fall away because it's shining lights into areas that they're not willing to go personally yet themselves, but it's not a reflection back on whether or not there's something wrong with us because we have gone through a hard experience and where else that we've come out the other side and we're going, you know what? I'm okay that I was foreclosed on after the Great Recession. Does it make me proud looking back at it? No, but there's a lot of things we did right leading up to it, but there was also a time period we just had to say, you know what? Our business, our employees, our family is more important than me retaining a home. And yet, the things that came on the other side of that were tremendous, but I had also realized that is not a reflection on who I am as an individual. That's something that happened. And then we move past it.

 

Tina Mitchell: Yeah, so true. But yeah, when you were talking about foreclosing on your home, I believe that that was meant to happen because of everything that came out on the other side for you and what you learned through that process and being able to share that and connect, because I believe that if we were our authentic self, then it allows us to be that be that strong person for people that are meant to hear our message. And just like you said, others that are not, that's okay, because our story, our journey in life is not meant to be for everybody. It's meant to be for the people that we're supposed to connect with at that time, right?

 

Arwen Becker: Absolutely. No question about it. So did you– yeah, go ahead please.

 

Tina Mitchell: No, you go ahead.

 

Arwen Becker: No, I was going to say, were you able to get kind of through that third point? Do you feel like there were any other little pieces of that that you wanted to expand on?

 

Tina Mitchell: No, just a shout out to, if you're listening today, go back and write your key moments in life from your earliest memory and connect your dots. And I promise you, magical things will come from it for you, just as it did for me.

 

Arwen Becker: What do you think for a woman who's listening, what would you say would be the– I know you said go back and write those memories, but what would you say practically when you're working with coaching clients or talking somebody through this, what are some of the one or two first things, if somebody has never really been able to step into that space, what are the practical things that they should do to start?

 

Tina Mitchell: So, I have three core practices when it comes to professional success, but it has to do with personal success as well. Talking about it in my coaching program. First is to rejoice in your small successes. Every small success, if you rejoice, that will lead you to your big successes. The second mindshift or core practice is taking the hard road. The hard road represents change. The hard road will not be the hard road for long once you create a habit in taking the hard road, which is being willing to change. And then the last is embracing your failures because your failures will lead you to opportunities on the other side. And through those opportunities, all the success that you want will be yours.

 

Arwen Becker: Absolutely. One of the other things that I love to ask women like you who work with a lot of women as well, I know that just through my experience, a lot of women really struggle at supporting one another and not getting into this comparison. What does it feel like and look like to you when women really, truly come together and they link arms and arms and they support one another instead of this competing, what does that look like to you?

 

Tina Mitchell: Yeah, competition is so bad for you personally, which then again means that you can't be your best self for others, and that's really what life is all about. When you come from a place of community that you're working with people that are not at the level that you're at yet and you're there to help support them, to help them grow, that's a type of community. And then when you're in a community, in a place that are women at the same level as you or that are higher than you, and through that, you're each sharing all of the things that you're learning, and I always say that I don't believe that anyone comes up with their own brilliant idea, they are motivated and inspired by many before them. The brilliance is making it your own and then sharing it with others.

 

And you can't do that without having a community of women that are at the same level or a higher level than you are. And you can't hang out and be in that community spirit with the women that are of a higher level than you if you're coming from a place of competition. Now, you need to be from a place from competition a hundred percent, but it's competition with yourself, not competition with anyone else. And how you do that is you make a commitment to be a little bit better today than you are yesterday. Make a commitment that you're going to level up a little bit more today.

 

Arwen Becker: Agreed.

 

Tina Mitchell: And you know, every day and I've got a new one here because I ran off, but this is every– well, you'll see the wrong date here, but if you can see this, but every day, I write these statements. I'm going to be an inspiration today. I'm going to be a little bit better today than I was yesterday. I'm going to make a difference in the world one day at a time. And I'm going to level up. And I write that in my journal every single morning as I start my day.

 

Arwen Becker: Beautiful. Love it. That's such a great, beautiful wisdom. Love it. Alright. So, our last three rapid fire questions. You ready? Okay, here we go. So, the best piece of financial wisdom that you've been given.

 

Tina Mitchell: Well, that is really, embracing your failures, that's probably the biggest one that I could say.

 

Arwen Becker: And can you expand kind of how you see that as it relates to money and finances?

 

Tina Mitchell: Yeah, just be exciting, be excited for your next failure and be extra excited for your next biggest failure, because it's leading you to your biggest success. And if not for that failure, success will never be yours. And just as tragedy to triumph, the bigger the tragedy, the bigger the triumph on the other side. In business, the bigger the failure, the bigger the opportunity on the other side. So, if you want little failures, little opportunities are going to present themselves because I believe in balance, the balance in the universe. So, I'm excited for my next big failure and I'm going to be ready to look for the opportunity that's going to lead me to that big success on the other side.

 

Arwen Becker: Yeah, as I've been told, the pendulum swings just as far one direction as the other. So, if it's not swinging very far, you're not going to get the great things on the other side. You'll get little things on the other side.

 

Tina Mitchell: So true.

 

Arwen Becker: It was really big, fail, big, fail, hard, fail fast because there's so much goodness on the other side. So that's beautiful. What about a book that you would recommend and why?

 

Tina Mitchell: Well, my favorite book is Who Moved My Cheese? And that's what led me to creating my One-Time Your Business coaching program, which is around time management business efficiency. And it's tied to my first mindshift in creating a habit to One-Time Your Business, which is rejoicing in your small successes and then leading into taking the hard road, which represents change. And so, Who Moved My Cheese? would have to be my favorite. My second would be my own book.

 

Arwen Becker: Tell us a little bit about your book.

 

Tina Mitchell: Yeah. So, my book is Journey With Me to Personal & Professional Success. It's obviously my story and my journey in life. And through that, I share my core practices, my personal core practices and my business core practices. So, it's everything that I'm about personally and professionally and the tools that I believe that you can use to create great things for yourself in your life. And I'll share with you how to get a complimentary copy of my book a little bit later when we wrap up.

 

Arwen Becker: Can you tell me how you came up with the name of One-Time Your Business? What does that fully mean?

 

Tina Mitchell: Well, it's so funny because I've been saying one timing, I don't know. I've been saying one timing since I was a restaurant manager. You need to one time this. And when you're going out to your tables, always have a cup of coffee and pick stuff up in your station on your way back. And so, when I got into the mortgage industry, my team behind the scenes has been one timing their business, all my team one times our business. So, I don't know how I came up with it. I was just one timing, I called it one timing in the restaurant. Then when I got into the mortgage industry, I called it, we need to one time our business. And here's what this means. And yeah, so I've been doing it for my entire professional life, so. I wish I could remember where I came up with one timing, but.

 

Arwen Becker: I like it. It now makes sense.

 

Tina Mitchell: It is trademark. So, I did when I created my coaching program, I latched on to that really quickly because it's just the idea of doing something once so you can consider it a one and done, whereas the majority of people are part of the rat race, constantly putting out fires, stuck in a rut. It's all because they're doing the same thing the wrong way over and over and over again.

 

Arwen Becker: Now, that's good, really good.

 

Tina Mitchell: One time it.

 

Arwen Becker: Yeah, that totally makes sense. And what's a favorite quote of yours?

 

Tina Mitchell: And I'll have to share a quote that I wrote. And this came after I wrote my poem Dream that became a song. Wake up every morning alert to all the surprises waiting just for you. When you watch for them, they show up everywhere. And what an amazing day it would be or what an amazing day it will be.

 

Arwen Becker: Yes. Oh, I love it. So good.

 

Tina Mitchell: I have to say, when it's your own, it has to be your favorite because there's so much that goes around that when you actually take the time to write your own and so, that's why I say that.

 

Arwen Becker: Agree. And how can listeners get a hold of you? Give us all the good juicy details.

 

Tina Mitchell: Yeah. So, you can just go to TinaMitchell.com. That's T-I-N-A M-I-T-C-H-E-L-LL dotcom. That'll take you to my events page. You'll see my speaker sheet. My keynotes are complimentary. My workshops that I do for organizations are complimentary. I do a Live Your Dream Now workshop for other people. Just you know that whatever space, that's complimentary. My eight-week One-Time Your Business coaching program is complimentary. So, all of the events there, they're all complimentary. My book, it's complimentary. You can listen to my radio and podcast show if you want to come as a guest. There's an online calendar, that's complimentary. So, I give everything that I can away because I have platforms. All of my platforms make me money.

 

So, I believe you, when you're making a decision to do something, it must be balanced. You need to come from a place of contribution and you must be able to monetize. However, you have to have spaces in your platform that monetizing is not about the money, it's about coming from a place of contribution. The money always follows. So, make a complimentary coaching program. You can level it up and spend quality time with me for a year on group coaching. That has a cost. So, the complimentary coaching is a place of contribution. The monetize is being able to share what's important to me, also the ability to spend quality time on a paid program for people that are interested, so yeah.

 

Arwen Becker: Very good. And I know you and I were talking about before we went live the fact that my sister has been integrated and working with you and your coaching company and has really just seen such a tremendous shift for her personally because it's so practical. And for any of you who are listening that maybe, unlike Tina and I, who we've been doing so much of this personal study for so many years, sometimes, if that wasn't a space that you came from, maybe you didn't have parents that encouraged you in that. Or for me, I was an athlete. So, I had a lot of coaches that taught me how to goal set and taught me how to visualize and taught me how to utilize these different tools that were going to be able to help me one-time thing and not do it over and over and over again, but I really recommend, if that is something that you haven't looked into, is taking Tina up on these offers and looking at some of the things that she has that are at no cost, but I'm telling you, I have committed to coaches in the past when I really didn't have the funds to do it, but I knew that that commitment that I made financially was going to be the catalyst that was going to change my life. And every experience has ended up that way, because a lot of times we kind of devalue those things that don't cost us anything.

 

And so, if that's something that you've been looking, kind of trying to figure out how to get off this plateau that you're on or just feeling more efficient, I would absolutely recommend go into the show notes, take her up on these offers, look at some of the resources that she has, reach out to her, and learn some new thoughts, because that's how we take these moments in life and we get to the place, the next phase, the better phase, the better version of ourselves. So, please do that.

 

Tina Mitchell: Thank you.

 

Arwen Becker: Well, thank you so much for taking the time to be with us today and sharing your heart and your story and the tragedies, but more importantly, how you overcame them. I sincerely appreciate it very, very, very much.

 

Tina Mitchell: Well, thank you for the opportunity. I look forward to– go to my events page and sign up for my show because I love to have you in the studio for mine, as well. And I want to thank all of your listeners for tuning into your show because what you're doing is amazing. And bringing in women and allowing them to create this space is a really beautiful thing. So, congratulations for that.

 

Arwen Becker: Thank you so much. I appreciate that.

[END]

 

 

To get access to more amazing interviews, CLICK HERE!

Posted in

Leave a Comment





Subscribe for new episodes from The Life With Arwen Podcast.

Angela Henderson

049: A Grateful Life is Our Responsibility with Angela Henderson

Arwen Becker Problems Are Temporary

048: Current Problems Are Always Temporary with Arwen Becker

Katie McDonald

047: Self-Care is Your Birthright with Katie McDonald

Sheryl Hickerson

046: A Man is Not a Financial Plan (Repost)